Saturday, 20 Dec. 79. It is very misty this morning and the trees are glistening with snow which has fallen during the night. I had one or two fainting fits this morning—but they have passed with the aid of a half glass of pure brandy and at 2 P.M., I was able to go with Tante G, Margo, Lulu, Mamie and Helene to the ice (Kausseau Insel).
Skating (8.).
There was music and a great many people were skating. v. Kotze, v. Hambruch, Heinrichs and v. François (a new officer) were there. We made some long chains, v. Kotze & Heinrichs leading. A great many officers leave Berlin for the holidays—among others v. Röder & v. Brandt tonight; v. Verschuer tomorrow and Heinrichs Monday. What a sad appearance Berlin will present without these ornaments of society in general. I told Verschuer that I adored impulsive people—he is one and so am I! I think we will agree very well.
Transparent Paintings.
After the skating was over, Heinrichs & Verschuer accompanied us, Heinrichs only a little way, but Verschuer was courageous enough to drink coffee with us at a restaurant and afterwards go to the Art Academie to see transparent pictures that are exhibited for charitable purposes. The pictures were very beautiful. We sat in a dark hall and while looking at each picture, heavenly music (voices) was heard and no one knew where it came from. There were intervals of five minutes between each painting. All were biblical subjects. Verschuer sat on my left—he heaved a sigh once in a while—poor fellow. I wonder what he was thinking about?
Mamie, Margo and I stopped in at Mama’s as we came home and spent the evening there. Henry came from Hannover at 8 P.M. Nini and Edgar met him at the station. It seems (if possible?) as if he had grown taller. After supping all together, Edgar, Mamie, Margo and I played "Schwert des Damocles" for Henry. We spent a jolly evening and at 10, Henry and Edgar brought us home.
Sunday, 21st Dec 79. Mamie and Margo went to church. Found Mama & boys had gone to the Thiergarten when I arrived at 54 Königsrätzenstrasse. Read French novels on the sly—as Nini was also out and I had nothing better to do. After dinner Nini, Mamie, Adeline and the boys went to the Thiergarten. As Mama was sleeping, I was left alone and read a little more forbidden fruit until I became so nervous that I sat down at the piano and played until the others came. After supper we danced and were very jolly. Mama has a headache but she feels a little better this evening. Henry dances extremely well, I am happy to say. He and Nini brought us home.
After lunch Tante Clio, Lulu, Marguerite and I went down town to buy Christmas presents. Bought a table cover for Tante Gretchen, a cravat at Michaelis and then Tante G. left us alone to do our shopping, much to our delight. We bought any quantity of things and were as happy and jolly as three school-children out for a holiday. At Mosse’s, we met Nini and Edgar.
Wednesday, 24th Dec. 79. This afternoon we all went skating on Kausseau Insel to leave Tante Clio in peace to arrange the Christmas tree and presents.
Skating (9.) - Wilhelm’s Arrival.
Nini, Henry and Edgar accompanied us. We had vaguely hoped to see Wilhelm v. Puttkamer on the ice, as he arrived in Berlin last Saturday and called on the Lemckes yesterday. Lulu has already seen him and finds him so handsome. As I heard his familiar voice in the parlour, it made me think of old times. Tante Clio was pale from emotion after her interview with him. If only Gredel will not come to Berlin this winter, all will go smoothly! There was a horrid, tall, English speaking man with a black beard on the ice who marred my pleasure by staring at me and following me until I was nearly frantic.
Christmas Eve.
We girls, dressing to be very swell this evening, put flowers in [our] hair and bosom and made our dresses square in the neck. Tante Clio had arranged the Christmas tree and the presents on separate tables and all was in readiness when Nini, Henry and Edgar made their tardy appearance at 8 P.M. We girls then sang a Christmas hymn and "Habe dime hugen auf" from Elias. After this, each one ran for his or her table and gave utterance to many ohs and ahs of delight. The scene was really festive. The presents were immensely tasteful and useful and on each table stood a plate of eatables—nuts, apples, bonbons, marcipan, etc. We had a nice supper and the evening passed very pleasantly. [Gold foil ornaments, above, are pasted to the page, with the caption: "From the Christmas tree in 73 Grossbeerenstrasse."]
Thursday, 25 Dec. 79
Christmas Day.
Early this morning, Mamie, Margo and I left for Mama’s where we exchanged "Merry Christmases" and then went to church with Nini and Henry and Edgar. The church was beautifully trimmed, and the German original but good. We dined with Mama at 2 P.M. and had a turkey and champagne—the latter put us in the very best of spirits. Mama and Nini then occupied themselves with the tree, while we tumbled around a little under the influence of the champagne. We girls sang again under the tree and then made for our tables. Mama gave me a "Wagner Gallery" that I have long desired. The servants also had their presents and were very delighted.
As we went home, what was our distress to find it was thawing dreadfully! The streets were full of mud and melted snow was dripping from the houses. Alas, for skating. [Two ornaments are pasted to the page: one, gold paper cut-work, labeled "Basket made by Mama;" the other, a stamped gold foil bird, "From the Christmas tree."]
Friday, 26th Dec. 79. What dreary weather! Everything is mud—mud! This sad prospect for ice makes me blue and dismal. It is true, I have a bruised foot and ought not to think of skating for a long time but this does not change my sentiments. We all spent a charming morning reading in the salon.
Romp of Quartett.
After dinner, both Tantes and Helene went out and we had a jolly time and romp. Lulu got mad at Margo and for revenge, put salt in her marcipan and emptied her bureau drawers. Mamie made coffee and we drank it amidst much romping and many screams of laughter. Lulu aimed a cushion at Margo’s head but it missed and fell in full force on a kettle of water. General spilling, crash and cries, of course.
Visit of Quartett.
At 5 P.M. we four girls put on our hats and trudged obediently over to Shaeffers’ to see them today, as the Lemckes had told us to. We choked down our mirth as well as possible as Frau Shaeffer opened the door and helped us take off our things. We passed the time talking to her, her mother-in-law and aunt, and in applauding Carlchen’s infantine feats. As soon as our dear old Shaefferchen came, we brightened up. He looked sleepy and stupid and said he had been reading all day. Carlchen, who was the happy possessor of a "fiddle," made our ears tingle with several wild sounds he produced. Finally, their tree was lighted and we all adjourned to the next room to admire and congratulate. The girl came to take us home after a half hour as we had told her to, but when she arrived, we had changed our minds and sent her away with the order to come again in a half hour.
Sad Fate of Quartett.
We all sat around the table and talked, first of Jesus and then of Wagner, his wife and v. Bülow. We were soon disturbed in our pleasant chat by the announcement that Tante Clio was in the hall, waiting to take us home, and as we rose from our chairs, I think we each smelt powder in the air. In the corridor stood Tante Clio, foaming with ill-concealed rage. She reproached us for having expected the girl to make two trips and said we should have gone when sent for. Frau Shaeffer looked pitifully at us, as did Shaefferchen, both aware of the storm which would fall on our heads as soon as we were alone with our stern & relentless mentor. I felt an irresistible desire to laugh all the same and did so as we went down the dark stairs, Tante C. marching ahead and we four culprits following with bowed spirits. It has frozen.
Saturday, 27 Dec. 79. I scrambled out of bed in a hurry this morning to see if it had continued to freeze during the night. It had—and a weight was lifted from my heart.
Skating (10.)
Tante Gretchen, Lulu, Helene, Henry and I went to the Kausseau Insel to skate. The ice was miserable—frightfully cut up so that it was impossible to skate alone, and such a mass of people that it was altogether anything but pleasant. For the first time, there was not a single soul we knew on the ice. As it was also cold and we could not keep in movement enough to warm our feet, we took off our skates after a half hour and made for home.
We espied v. Axen seated on a bench near the entrance, having his skates buckled on. It was decided beforehand that we should cut him for having so completely ignored his duties as a cavalier, admitted into the select circle of acquaintances of the Nunnery; and cut him we did, coldly, relentlessly. This cutting must have done Tante Gretchen’s heart good, to judge from the look of triumph she indulged in. Lulu, unfortunately, looked around at Axen to see what effect our conduct had had on him, and met his eyes. This must have proved to him that we cut him out of pique, and not out of indifference, and this knowledge is flattering to any man.
Flick & Flock.
In the evening Mama invited us all to go to the opera to see "Flick and Flock," a ballet. We were 8 and occupied two boxes. Nini, Helene, Mamie and Henry in one, Mama, Margo, Edgar and I in the other. We had the satisfaction of being stared at (if it is a satisfaction—it worries me beyond measure). There was an old gentleman in the next box who did not remove his eyes from Mama, and a young one who did not remove his eyes from me. People must be curious to ascertain our nationality as we speak alternately, English, French and German.
When I came home, I found Margo and Lulu alone, as the Tantes had gone to spend the evening with friends and Helene gone to a concert. We three were delighted to be alone. I wrote to Johanna Kelly. Lulu is no longer sympathetic to me—she is so rough in her feelings and so abominably selfish.
Mama told me today that she would not be able to take me into society in Italy this spring, as we would be there during Lent. Do I care? I have been asking myself this question all evening and cannot answer it. Why should I care? Has not the world a great many dangerous charms for me? And the Italians are heart-breakers, I hear—and I have no trust in them. It is therefore better not to expose myself to the danger of falling in love. I wish to go home with my heart intact. Victor, thoughts of you have disturbed my solitude tonight. Leave me in peace—you must not become too dear to me.
Tuesday, 30th Dec. 79. Mama had told me to dress to make visits and come to her at 2 P.M., but much to my disgust and astonishment, I arrived in my best clothes looking superbly, and found every soul in the house out, even to the maid. I waited two hours and then they all came and informed me the visits were for tomorrow. I staid all night with Mama and slept in Edgar's bed in Nini's room.
Monday, 31 Dec. 79. St. Sylvester. Dr. Wegner came this morning to see Mama and me. He says I am looking better and told me to eat meat. What a dear, dear old doctor he is! Everyone is packing here this morning and the rooms are in wild disorder. Before lunch I went home with Henry to change my dress and met Tante Gretchen, Mamie and Margo on their way to bid Mama adieu. I brought them back, as I knew Mama was not ready to receive them. v. Verschuer (although not in Berlin) sent his bursch last night to wish us all a happy New Year from him. What a thoughtful young fellow!
P.P.C. Visits with Mama.
Mama and Edgar came at 2 P.M. to say goodbye to all here, and afterwards Mamie and I accompanied them and we made visits—that is, left p.p.c. cards for Mama. It is snowing, although still not under foot.
After dinner we went up to see Nini’s and Edgar’s rooms and Mama paid a visit to Frl. von Bülow and Mrs. Severin. Mrs. Severin’s little girl was brought in to see us. She is a little beauty. I am afraid she will prove dangerous for my younger brother. Frau Dr. Landmann made Mama a farewell visit with her dog and brought a bouquet.
Mama’s and Henry’s Departure.
We all went with Mama to the depot—at 10 P.M., Mama, Henry and Adeline left us standing on the platform and they whirled away into space. Mama and Adeline bound for Paris and Henry for Hannover. Henry took a berth with Mama however to be able to see the New Year in (or Old Year out) with Mama. This is comforting for us to know that darling Mama will not be entirely alone tonight. God bless you, my Mother and be with you! May our next meeting be a happy one and oh! heavenly Father, I pray that it may be soon! [A sprig of pine and a flower are pasted to the page, with the caption: "From the wreath which has been over Mama’s door since the night of her arrival in Berlin, the 8th October, 1879."]
Watching the Old Year Out.
Tante Gretchen then proceeded to put plates in a row, on the table, under each of which was a symbol of something. Mamie received a penny, meaning that she would have riches—and I, the myrtle wreath, meaning I would be a bride before the end of the year. We also put a plain gold ring in a hard and compact mound of flour and each took turns in slicing the flour away with a knife. He or she who hit the ring, or disclosed it to view, was obliged to take it from the plate with the teeth. This caused much merriment.
A Happy New Year!
As the clock struck twelve, we heard a few feeble shouts in the street of "Happy New Year" (in German of course) and we kissed all around and wished that the newborn year would bring happiness to each. After this, we went to bed, much worn out. We lay our lives in thy hands, oh, my Father—may this coming year be rich in good works and joys!
No comments:
Post a Comment