New Year’s Day.
M. got in bed with me this morning. She had already been to wish a happy New Year to her aunt. We all received New Year’s cards from Stuttgart this morning. Thinking mine was from Victor, I was not a little glad and am not sure I did not commit the folly of pressing the handwriting to my lips. I hope I have still maidenly modesty enough to blush in writing this! (?) We found out at table that the cards were from v. Röder: he had had the prudence to send Tante Gretchen an envelope with his coat of arms, and she condescended to appease our curiosity after we had begged and begged in vain for about a quarter of an hour. Helene’s card arrived after ours, as it had been carried to a wrong address. What a fortunate coincidence that it was brought back to her.
After dinner, Mamie, Margo and I went over in the rain and wind to wish a happy New Year to Nini and Edgar, who are very comfortably situated in two front rooms at Frau Dr. Landmann’s. Edgar had received a telegram from Mama saying she had left her watch here. Nini was at a loss to know from whom her card was until we told her it was from his “yellow lordship,” as Lulu expresses it.
We came home at 4.30 P.M. in time for coffee, and in the evening, Tante Clio and all of us, with the exception of Tante Gretchen, went to spend the evening with the Shaeffers. I forgot to say that Shaefferchen had called on us this morning and delivered the invitation.
Just before leaving, we were called into the dining-room where a great surprise was awaiting us. Verschuer, the indefatigable, had sent a bundle of New Year’s cards, one for each, with a cracked English inscription on the back. Our young friend seems to think of us, even far off in the bosom of his numerous family. I am afraid he has some weakness in the Nunnery. He must not betray himself. [An envelope with a coat of arms and the caption: New Year’s card from v. Verschuer is pasted to the page; the envelope is empty.]
Evening at Shaeffers’.
We arrived at Shaeffers’ at 6.30 P.M. and sat around a table and ate apples and nuts. Carlchen was as entertaining as ever. We listened to an aria from Figaro which Shaefferchen sang, and a song “Weisst du nach”, from Gensen. After that we represented living pictures with the aid of a green carpet hung up on the folding doors as back ground. It took a great deal of planning and maneuvering on the part of Frau Shaeffer and ourselves to obtain the right effect of light and background.
The first picture represented two men in a gondola, one of which (Lulu) held a guitar in his hand and sang to his lady love, peeping out a window far over their heads, a lace veil thrown over her blond curls, listening rapturously to her lover’s voice. I was the lady love and stood behind the carpet balanced on a high ladder, with my head and hand alone visible, expecting everything to fall with a crash at each moment. The other gondolier (Marguerite) held a lantern and rudder, and was peacefully slumbering. The dear Shaefferchen played and sang the Song of the Gondoliers. The next picture was “Consolation in Music.” Lulu was a sentimental youth, playing the violin and looking wildly and sadly down at a head pillowed in his lap (namely mine). The head was that of a young girl, sung to sleep by the sweet strains, leaning on the knee of the youthful Apollo in an attitude of inmost melancholy and languor. Mamie and I then represented the old German proverb “Glück und Glas wie bald bricht das [Luck and glass are soon broken].” We went to supper after this—it was very jolly and sociable. After supper we girls sang “Hebe deine Augen auf.” We came home very late. Shaefferchen accompanied us. Frau Shaeffer begged us to stay later but Tante C. was firm.
Friday, 2nd Jan. 1880. This afternoon received a telegram from Mama announcing her safe arrival in Paris. Tante Gretchen informed us at dinner that Marguerite would leave 73 tomorrow to remain with her Aunt. No one evinced any great surprise at this—I imagine everyone knew it before. Lulu and I had a singing lesson at Shaefferchen’s. We remained a quarter of an hour after our lesson to hear Frl. Löwenstein sing something from Lohengrin. In the evening Tante Clio read History of Arts and we girls painted and drew.
Saturday, 3rd Jan. 80. M. and I received notes from Nini this morning asking us to come to her to take part in a “conseil de famille” [“family council”]. Edgar came to fetch us and we three left together. It appears Frau von Berger desires to have Marguerite with her for two months or so in Schwedt for her and her husband to speak French. Tante Clio had recommended Margo, but Nini did not wish to accept without having my advice. I think it is decided that Margo will go.
Nini has a new photograph of Victor, which she received yesterday. It is very good—there is the old twinkle of the eyes and the sarcastic, bitter look about the mouth. How I longed to be alone to give way to my emotions. Is it emotion? I know only that I cannot hear his name without being deeply moved and that I would give a great deal to see him again—and, if he were there, I could not look into his eyes, with my old indifference. Nini and I were speaking of Schweizermühle today. I told her, I had so often felt myself “de trop” [“one too many”] when I was with her and Victor—she said, “No, he loved your presence—perhaps a little too much.” These are simple words but since I heard them, the day seems a little brighter. Edgar and Nini accompanied us home, where we found all at lunch.
Margo’s Removal.
Margo’s trunk is packed and it looks so dreary in her room. She left at 4 P.M. to remain with Nini and Edgar in the Königgrätzerstrasse. She will continue to give Lulu two French lessons a week and receive two German ones from Tante Gretchen.
We had delicious oranges for dinner today for the first time this year. This evening Tante Clio read to us from Jordan’s “Michelangelo.” I refused an invitation that Mrs. White sent me to Miss Butler’s concert at her house tonight. Lulu and Tante Clio called on Mrs. White this afternoon.
Sunday, 4th Jan. 80. Mamie and Tante Gretchen went to church this morning. Nini, Edgar and Marguerite came and brought a letter from Mama. They only remained a short while. Helene and I painted all the morning in the school-room.
I think it is freezing—the streets look very much like it. I wish it would turn cold again, sufficiently so to have ice.
Yesterday the Tantes heard that Gredel would not come to Berlin to visit them. They are so unhappy about it. If I thought that her absence would induce them to invite Wilhelm v. P. to our ball, I would be glad—how selfish. If I had any real affection for any of the Lemcke family, I would not say such a naughty thing.
I dread seeing Chambly again. I can no longer be unreserved with him. Received invitation from Krauses.
Monday, 5th Jan. 80.
Phantoms of the Night!
Last night Helene and I talked until 12 o’clock and just as we were falling asleep, I heard a noise and a scream in the street and got up, out of curiosity, to see what it was. Finally, I espied two men coming along—they stopped on the doorsteps of one of the houses opposite to us and remained there, I think, probably an hour and possibly longer. From time to time, two other men who appeared to be their companions, came to them and after talking with their heads very close together, went away again. I took my opera glass and saw them plainly. I became so tired that I lay down again, but hearing another arrive and wishing to be au courant [up to the moment] of everything, I sprang up once more and lo! and behold! my men were gone! I tried my best to sleep after this—I could not. My head ached and long, black cloaked phantoms rose before my mind’s eye until I was so nervous that I trembled in every limb. Towards morning I dozed a little.
Had a music lesson with Shaefferchen this morning. Tante Gretchen, Mamie and I took a little walk before lunch and I went up to see Nini an instant, but all were out.
Visit of von Bergers.
Herr and Frau von Berger called. Mamie and I went in to see them. It made me quite blue to see the dear dragoon uniform once more.
Nini called in hurriedly this evening to tell me she had accepted Krauses’ invitation for me and for her, and to inform me that dancing would be in the programme! I am so glad—I don’t know why it is, but lately I have had such a longing to dance.
Later: My throat hurts me frightfully tonight and I have a decidedly disagreeable cold in the head—consequences of last night’s escapade at the window in light clothing.
Tuesday, 6th Jan. 80. Passed a wretched night—did not close my eyes until morning. Sent for the Doctor (Grossmann) who came at 11 A.M., and remained the whole day in bed. Tante Gretchen read “Doctor Marigold” of Dickens aloud to me. Nini, Edgar and Margo dropped in a moment towards dark.
Wednesday, 7th Jan. 80. Still in bed. Another visit from the Doctor. Got up and dressed in the afternoon and painted with the other girls in the school-room. In the evening Tante Gretchen, Mamie and Lulu went to the theatre to see the Seebachs in “Mother and John.” I sewed in the parlour and Tante Clio read Pickwick Papers aloud to me.
Thursday, 8th Jan. 80. Am still in bed this morning. Did not take my music lesson with Shaefferchen. Doctor came again and oh! joy, advised me not to go in the salon this evening when the gentlemen come. Tante Gretchen was furious, and said it would not fatigue me, but the blessed old Doctor insisted and said, “Remain quietly in bed if you wish to dance Saturday evening.” I was so triumphant and still Tante Gretchen affected such a surprised and offended look this evening at dinner, when I came in not dressed.
As Verschuer and Puttkamer were taking their English lesson, Helene whistled Fatinitza in the corridor. This brought Tante Gretchen and in less than no time, with the information that the whistling was distracting the gentlemen from their lesson. These poor youths!
English Evening (4.).
Nini, Margo and Edgar arrived at 7.30 P.M., and at 8 P.M., all members of the English evening were assembled, excepting Kotze who came at 9. I took a peep (on the sly) at Röder as he came in, from my room, of which the door was a little ajar. Chambly was also there, but I did have the inexpressible pleasure of catching a glimpse of his suspicion of a moustache. From my room I could hear the buzzing of the voices but it awoke no desire in me to join them until I heard them arranging charades—then, I confess, I regretted, a little, not having made my appearance. The girls told me afterwards that the evening had been very pleasant and not at all stiff. The gentlemen all sent me their compliments and wishes for the New Year, through Mamie—all except Chambly!
Friday, 9th Jan. 80. I have been letting my white cashmere dress out for tomorrow night. The Doctor made me another visit and I am taking another kind of medicine. This evening we all sat around the table making favors for the cotillion of our ball. This general working causes a great deal of merriment.
Saturday, 10th Jan. 80. I went shopping with Nini this morning. The Doctor came again and pronounced me “not sufficiently better.” He does not like the idea of my dancing tonight. Margo is to accompany us to the Krauses’—she received an invitation yesterday. I lay down and slept a little towards evening, but it has not refreshed me.
Before the Ball—8 P.M.
I feel tired already and am in a sadly doubtful humor for dancing. I have scarcely energy enough to finish dressing and I look so white and exhausted.
Ball at Krauses’.
Nini, Marguerite and I were rather disagreeably surprised on arriving at Krauses’ at 7.30 P.M. to find all the ladies décoletées [in low cut gowns] and everything arranged for a small ball. We had understood it was to be a tea! Nini wore black silk, Margo pink cashmere and I white cashmere. We were however greeted with admiring glances on entering the room and the gentlemen crowded around us—some old (?) friends among them and some strangers—all officers. In less than five minutes our cards were both filled. The dancing was just beginning.
I entered the dancing room on v. Voigts-Rhetz’s arm and we began waltzing. Some of the toilettes were exceedingly pretty but most of the wearers were plain. I soon perceived v. Troschke looking as bright (?!) as usual and v. Shenck, the blond, rather stout young officer who was so devoted to me at Krauses’ last ball. He led this evening and was not still an instant. [Ada’s dance card is pasted into the diary, along with a paper and gold foil favor in the form of a slipper.]
The first contra danse, I danced with v. Gablens as vis-a-vis [literally “face to face,” in this case “opposite partner”] and it was such a relief to look from my stupid partner to his handsome black eyes. v. Boddien is so charming and handsome. A sickly looking civilian, v. Axen, was there, whom I had met before, but if he expected to come to me for consolation, he was mistaken. I treated him abominably and he marched off with his nose in the air, leaving me to the tender attentions of v. Voights-Rhetz, but he still seemed to find comfort in my presence, for he came back to me before the ball was over.
Nini introduced me to the great rising General of the day, v. Verdy du Vernois [1832-1910, a master tactician who lectured at the Kriegsakademie and served as Minister of War, 1889-90]. He is fat and comfortable looking and oh! so jolly and witty. I heard afterwards that I had taken his old heart by storm. I was amiable for dear Victor’s sake. Nini and I want to intrigue to have Victor removed to Berlin and brought in the “Stab.”
At supper, Nini, Marguerite and I, with v. Neubraun, v. Vadue and the gentleman who took Marguerite in, were seated at a small table in a room between the salons and dancing hall, before a large mirror. I felt very gay although I had not taken my usual supply of champagne, and an irresistible spirit of merriment soon pervaded among us all. General v. Verdy etc. did not forget us but came and touched glasses. My partner’s attentions, in an edible way, were all-absorbing but promiscuous—he brought me cold chicken with salmon sauce, preserves and green peas. I have never seen Nini so animated.
v. Neubraun captured me for the Cotillion just as I was about sailing off to the exquisite strains of a Strauss waltz. The figures were various and pretty—v. Schenk leads as he dances & pays compliments (?!) with a vim. I got a great many bouquets and favors of every description, which I did not bring away with me.
L’espagnol (Count Valles) was there, but fortunately for himself and others, did not dance much. He informed Nini that he found I had improved very much this winter in appearance and amiability. On est là pour apprendre [one is there to learn], my dear friend. I hope if I meet you ten years hence I shall have the honour of finding still greater favor in your eyes.
Frau von Krause told me as we left that she hoped to see me at her next ball in February and I nodded a happy assent. I spent the night with Nini and slept on mattresses on the floor with Margo. It was three A.M. when we reached home.
No comments:
Post a Comment